Potential
by LPphreek
Summary: Years after his death, Raditz thinks about Goku's life through the Cell Games. Raditz's take on Goku's battles. One-Shot.


I've watched you grow over the years, little brother. It's really quite impressive, the strength you possess. If I had that kind of power at your age, well, let's just say I wouldn't be where I'm at now. Can I just say I'm sorry for not being a better brother? I should have been a role model for you, but I squandered my opportunity.

I watched your fight with the others. I can't honestly say I was rooting for you to win. After all, they _were_ on my side, even if I couldn't be there physically to cheer them on. So suffice it to say I was shocked when you won the battle. Those new techniques you used were amazing. I wish I could learn them, but I can't where I'm at.

Don't worry. I don't resent you for putting me here. I fully deserve this fate, little brother. You were right and I was wrong. I was foolish to try and sway you to my side. Anyway, as I was saying, your strength was impressive even then. I was stronger than you back when we fought, but you could have easily overpowered me after a year of your special training. That much is obvious. I wonder, did I have the same potential as you? Is it in our genes to become so strong with such seemingly little effort? I admit I never pushed myself _too_ hard in my training. What would have been the point? My companions always would have been stronger so they would have just mocked my attempts to improve.

After your first battle, I thought for sure you had reached the pinnacle of your strength. How could a third class like you ever move beyond a power level of around 10,000? I didn't think it was possible, but you again proved me wrong. I watched you as you journeyed to a distant planet, training in high gravity for just a few days. And in that extremely short time, you managed to once again take a tremendous leap in strength. I was baffled by it.

I watched with pride as you took on the Ginyu Force. At first I was apprehensive because I was sure you would be defeated. I had little faith in you, and for that I am sorry. Why shouldn't I have trusted you when you had already shown me twice how unpredictable you were? You always managed to come out on top no matter what the odds were. I watched your fight with the Ginyu fools and cheered you on even though I could hardly follow it. You were moving much too fast for me to see. That was when I knew my little brother was out of the ordinary. That's when I, like our prince, began to have suspicions about you. Were you the legendary?

You should have seen the look on my face when Ginyu switched bodies with you. I bet it was rather comical. I couldn't believe the nerve of that purple freak! If I'd have been there, I would have taken him on alone even though I couldn't win against power like that. But then, by some miracle, you managed to get out of that situation. You got your own body back _and_ made Ginyu switch bodies with a frog. I was rolling on the ground laughing when I saw that happen. Who would have thought the arrogant captain of the lizard's elite squad would become a frog? Seeing his ugly body hopping around eating flies was too hilarious for words.

I was relieved when I saw the prince take you onto the lizard's ship to heal in the rejuvenation chamber. I was afraid that perhaps he would leave you to die out of spite, but I guess he was more concerned about winning than holding a grudge at that point. While you were healing and the real battle started, I was shocked at the explosion of power your son displayed. I knew from experience how much his power could jump when he got mad, but that was unreal. For a minute I thought he was actually going to defeat Frieza. Wishful thinking, I guess.

Then, watching Frieza pummeling the prince. I couldn't bear to watch it. He never treated me with much respect when I was with him, but I still regarded him as something close to a friend. If nothing else, he _was_ my prince and that demanded my respect even if I didn't want to give it. When he was on the brink of death you arrived right on time to save him, so I thought. I could tell at that moment that you were stronger than ever. Of course, that made sense, considering your body had just recovered from a near-death experience. But still, it was mind-boggling. Your aura glowed brilliantly around you as you approached the lizard to take the prince's place. I was afraid for you, little brother. Even though you were immensely strong, I knew the lizard's power, and I didn't think you stood a chance. Not this time.

I couldn't believe my eyes when the prince begged you to avenge our race. Only a year earlier I would have scoffed. How could _you_ avenge our people? You were a weakling, unfit to be called a member of our proud race. But by then I knew you were more able to avenge us than any other being alive. I was filled with pride when I saw you start the fight with Frieza and get the better of him. Though you were unable to save the prince from being slaughtered, I didn't hold it against you.

For the first half of the battle, I was stunned into silence as you fought evenly with Frieza. Even in his final form you were right on par with him. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it. My little brother, the one to finally overthrow the tyrant. It was unreal. After you threw the spirit bomb at him I was sure you'd won. I whooped and hollered for all of hell to hear when the lizard disappeared in a blinding flash. You can only imagine my disappointment when I realized he still lived.

I wasn't surprised when I saw him begin attacking your friends. That freak always went after his victims mentally before he finally put them out of their misery. He saw that you were compassionate and tried to use it to his advantage. Little did he know that was the trigger that would ignite a power unseen for millennia. I could see the air around you changing as your power grew; I was unable to sense power levels, but it was plain and clear. Something inside you snapped and there would be hell to pay. I saw your hair turn gold and stand upright as a bright golden aura surrounded you. And when you turned to the lizard, I could see your cold, teal eyes glaring daggers at him. I wasn't there, but had I been, I'm sure I would have run away.

That was when the battle really heated up. It took my mind quite a while to wrap around the idea that you achieved what no other saiyan had in centuries. You ascended to the legendary. My little brother, a super saiyan. My pride was brimming over while you fought the lizard and finally took full control. Even when he destroyed the core of the planet, ensuring its demise, I wasn't worried about you. I knew you could still beat him and make it away alive. I was sure of it. Nothing had ever managed to defeat you yet.

It was only a few minutes before the final blow was struck. You should have heard me screaming at you for being such a fool when you showed Frieza mercy. How could you? I felt betrayed. You had the chance to take the revenge our race cried for even in death, but you let him live. You even gave him some of your own energy so he could survive the blast when the planet exploded. I was almost glad when I thought you died in the explosion. It would serve you right for showing compassion to that monster that enslaved your people and humiliated them for decades. I was angrier with you at that moment than I ever had been when we were fighting. I wanted you dead because you didn't care about the pride of our race.

Eventually my anger subsided, little brother. I couldn't hate you, not after all you had accomplished. I was sure Frieza died despite your mercy, so I couldn't hold it against you. For a long time I believed you to be dead. For the first time in a while I actually felt like I was in hell. Your death brought an unexpected feeling of despair; I guess it makes sense. You were, after all, my only remaining relative. Even though I didn't get to know you, little brother, you were still my brother.

When I found out you were alive, I was ecstatic. Even hell couldn't temper my joy to know that you were still alive and well. You were even busy training on a far away planet, learning a new technique I have to admit I'm jealous of. Instant transmission? It's remarkable. I've never known anyone before with that technique. Maybe, if you were to ever visit me in hell, you could teach it to me. I doubt you'd be interested. Why would you ever come see me in hell? You're the one who put me here. I'm not bitter about it, but I doubt you want to see big brother ever again. We didn't exactly part on good terms.

I frequently checked up on your progress during the three years you spent training for the androids that were going to devastate your little planet. I watched you train with your son and the Namek. I was astounded by the power levels each of you reached. The boy, not even ten years old, was several times stronger than I ever was. And you just kept getting stronger too. Did I have that potential, brother? Could I have become that strong if I had only applied myself? Or were you so different from me, perhaps because you weren't a cold-blooded killer? I ask myself this question pretty often. I wish I had an answer.

I couldn't see you while you trained with your son in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, so you can imagine my awe when you stepped out, both you and the boy as super saiyans. It looked so natural for both of you, as if you were born super saiyans. I guess I hadn't been foolish to think your boy would have been a good asset to our little saiyan squad, after all. He was only a baby when I tried to kidnap him, but he had potential. The same potential you had. The same potential I wonder if I had.

I was cheering you on when you fought with that hideous Cell creature. I thought for sure you would win. After all, you were stronger than ever, and you had already shown yourself to be basically undefeatable. I was a little worried when you came down with that heart virus, but thanks to that special delivery from the future, you pulled through just fine. Stronger than before? Probably. I was thrilled to see you fighting so well with the android. But, I could also see your energy draining while he kept going strong. I began to fear for you, little brother. I thought you'd finally lived to see the day you'd die in battle – unwillingly.

You surrendered to him. My pride in you was crushed, brother. Even if you were fighting to the death, the only honorable thing for you to do would be to die in battle. That's what I thought, anyway. But of course you had a plan behind the whole thing. Why was I not surprised once I learned what that plan was? You intended the whole time for your son to be the one to put an end to that creature's brief reign of terror. You only fought so he could learn how to fight against the android. It was a genius plan, really. You weren't always the brightest bulb, but you knew what you were doing when it came to fighting. I'd like to say you inherited that ability. After all, we're a warrior race! But you knew what you were doing working as a _team_. That's one thing I'd never understand.

Had I been alive, I surely would have died of a heart attack when your son, only ten years old – or was he eleven? – ascended beyond a super saiyan. He ascended far beyond your power! And he wasn't half your age when I fought you. Unbelievable. You were pushed to the back of my mind as I watched them duke it out. Well, actually it was a fairly one-sided battle. Your son was wiping the floor with that grasshopper. But then something unexpected happened. After he was forced back into his semi-perfect form, he blew himself up and said your whole planet would be destroyed along with him. I thought it was the end of the road for everyone there. I was filled with sadness just thinking about it. Expecting the worst. But as usual you had to come to the rescue. It was just your nature, I guess.

You stepped in and used your instant transmission technique to take Cell with you to otherworld. King Kai's planet, I believe. I heard the explosion from where I was standing. That's how I knew where you went. At that moment I knew you were dead – again. This time it wasn't my fault, but I felt worse than I ever did when you died because of me. I didn't bother watching the fight that continued between Cell and your son. I was too shocked by your recent arrival in otherworld. It was strange, being so close and yet so far from you. I knew you wouldn't be coming to hell where I was. I knew I would never get a chance to see you even though we were both dead. It would be the same as it was before, when you were on Snake Way and I was down below. It's frustrating, you know that? To be so close, yet worlds apart.

You lived a good life, little brother. I'm sorry I wasn't a bigger, better part of it. If only I could have been there for you when you needed help all those times. If only I hadn't fought you. Did I have the same potential you did, little brother? Could I have been that strong? I'll never know, and you'll never be able to answer my question. You'll never even hear it. Do you ever think about me? Or am I just a distant memory, just another battle you had long ago? I'm sorry, brother. I'm sorry I wasn't the brother I should have been. Just know that I'm proud of you.


End file.
